Wednesday, December 08, 2004

I was a Strong Puppy

D Well the past few days have been quite interesting. I was sitting in French class yesterday and Mrs. Wood comes running into class and grabs me. “You have a phone call, when tells me. Now, I’m thinking why someone would call me in the middle of school unless there was some sort of emergency. “Who’s dead?” I’m asking frantically, she has no idea. I walk into Mr. Neale’s office and take the phone. “Hey Barb,” says my dad. “You’re grandfather’s… not… well.” I knew this already, since he had told me on Sunday, and I remember quite clearly asking if it was fatal and he said no. So I’m starting to get worried as I hear his voice break. “What’s wrong with him?” “He’s gotten worse. You need to come home.” So I ge3t on a Grey Hound bus at twelve from Brantford to Toronto. No I lied twelve thirty. Doesn’t matter. Anyways, I’m on this bus and it’s totally raining like mad out there. So I drive and sleep and drive and sleep, then I get to Toronto where I sit in customer service for an hour to wait for my connection to Kingston. By the way, if you’re ever taking a bus out of Toronto Customer Service rocks. I love those guys. Someone even found me a Braille magazine to read while I was waiting. Oo, Science Journal Weekly. Exciting. So I actually did my English homework while I waited cuz I was that bored. I then got on the bus to Kingston, talked to Steve and Carin for God knows how long, talked to Tommy Decker. I felt a lot better after hea4ring his voice. “Be a strong puppy” he told me, which was really cute, even though he’s how much older than me? It doesn’t matter.

N So I got to Kingston and was immediately rushed to Brockville. Dad was a wreck, as was expected. Nothing wrong with that, I was surprised at how calm I was though at that point. I first saw Grandpa’s wife, Brenda, who told me that he was asleep. We all thought, however, that he would wake up, but he never did respond, except for little facial expressions and he’d squeeze my hand sometimes when I asked him to. So I guess he heard everything I said and I even sang to him. I sat with him until the very end. The nurse had to have h8im hooked up to an I V and she opened another port in his leg where she would inject some decongestant medication. Well that went over well, considering he was breathing until she gave him the drug. We don’t know if that was just coincidence or what.

So after he was given the drug, which was kind of amusing when she said “Okay Edgar you’re going to feel a little poke now.” I couldn’t help but laugh. His name is Earl, not Edgar dumb fuck. So after he had the medication he would have periods of apnea, which is when you can’t breathe for awhile. Everyone kept thinking he was dead, except me. I was the only one who heard him when he would start to breathe again. So, this happened for about a half hour and then he just lost his pulse. It was very hard for me to watch everyone cry so much, but I also decided I had to be the strong one who helped everyone else, so I didn’t cry, in fact, as sick as this sounds, I was kind of happy when he finally passed because it meant that he was at peace finally. Unlike everyone 3else who I know whose died, I still hear Grandpa’s voice in my head, even though he didn’t speak to me last night. But I can hear him. I am very happy about that.

I gotta say, my friend Adam is awesome. I went around to all my teachers and when I was talking to Mr. Boyde and telling him I wasn’t going to be in choir, I recognized Adam’s drumming in the other room. I went to him and all I needed at that point was someone to hold me. I ran into the room where he was and said “Adam, Grandpa’s dying,” I didn’t have to say anything else. He came to me and it was like we were frozen in time. HJe just held me forever it seemed. I love him for that. He wouldn’t let me go until he was sure I was going to be okay. And I hear that Bryon Elliot’s dad di9ed yesterday too. I wouldn’t call Bryon a friend, but I know the guy from school. That’s all I know is that his dad’s dead. We don’t really know why or what happened, but I feel for him. So I’m home for the week now. I’m going to sing at Grandpa’s funeral whenever that is. And I was a strong puppy just like Tommy told me to be.


Blogger Carin said...

Hang in there. I think that's awesome that you sat with him and were strong. It's amazing where that strength can come from. It can surprise you.

4:52 PM  
Blogger Barb M said...

Eee you're the first person who has commented on my blog I think! Yey, yeah, I surprised myself. And I love Adam cuz he keeps telling me he's here for me and wow. You guys rock

7:14 PM  
Blogger Carin said...

Oh dude, so do you.

10:57 PM  

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