An Ode to my Thumb

'Twas a bright and sunny Tuesday
I awoke in a foul mood
I was feeling rather hungry
And I felt the need to brood

I went down to my piano
To play a brand new piece
My thumb was very happy then
While tinkering on the keys

I noticed Megan standing there
Waiting to her turn to talk
"House was on last night" she said, "But it was on at 12 o'clock"

For some stupid unknown reason
This made me very mad
"You couldn't watch a TV show?
How stupid, pathetic and sad"

I marched up to my room upstairs
To cool down a bit
She's moving out in a few days
And now I feel like shit

So I started my new biology book
Quite an interesting read
And after finishing the chapter
Went to find something to eat

I found some cooked potatos
That were sitting in the fridge
If I fry these up with some saussage
This breakfast would be delish

I pulled a steak knife from the drawer
And then a cutting board
I also grabbed some onions
And dropped one on the floor

"Whatever", I thought, and picked it up
and I began to chop
Potatos would be on the bottom
And onions on the top

Back and forth and back and forth
I sawed and sawed and sawed
Then from my mouth there came a scream
"Oh ouch! My fucking God!"

The blood was spattered everywhere
The pain shot through my hand
I stuck it in cold water
The pain I could not stand

I cried and cursed and carried on
Until I found my head
But shit! Where were the bandaids kept?
I urgently had to find Meg

She was in the shower
So I pounded on the door
"Karma is a bitch" I thought
While From my hand blood poured

She exited the shower
Found some bandaids in Dad's room
She cleaned up the puddle of blood on my hand
And Tended to my wound

The hashbrowns were delicious
The saussage was divine
But for the last couple of agonizing days
All I could do was wine

It's hard to hit my space bar now
It hurts to get it wet
Would my wound excuse me from doing dishes?
It hasn't worked yet

The rhythm may be off
The rhyme scheme may be shit
But the moral of this little poem
Is don't do what I did