Wherein Barb just realizes the date and is a bit sad
This weekend has been one of the best weekends in awhile for me. Amazing chats with friends who I haven't had a good chat with in forever, hanging out with Ryan and Hope, doing my first body shots, yep I'm crazy! It was great fun. And last night I stayed home and listened to Randy's Vinyl Tap. It was a show all about misheard lyrics. How could that not be fun?
I forgot, however that I received this email about the memorial service for Kay, Mikaela's partner who died and it affected me so much. That was today. This would have been amazing. block quote
From: Mikaela Hughes <
Date: September 2, 2008 10:57:02 PM EDT (CA)
To: Mikaela Hughes <
Subject: Kay - 21 September
To our dear friends,
The Celebration of Kay's Life is coming up on the 21st of September and I wanted to give people some time should they like to participate or contribute
to the event in some way. I will describe the spaces and what we are planning to do so people who cannot be there can feel more connected, and those who
will be can be prepared and involved as much or little as they might wish. Let me know if there are any parts of the event you think you might like to
help with. I might be calling people if I need more help, even if it is just for setting up the space and tidying it up at the end.
First of all, for those people who are unable to come: if you want to send any memories, photos, stories, thoughts, poems or artwork that you think will
be appropriate, we will share them on the day. For those who want to say something but are uncomfortable speaking in front of people: you can write it
out and bring it along for someone else to read. We will also have paper and pens if you don't want to write anything until the day. Bernadette has offered
to put them together and get them bound in a book after the event, so they should all be "letter sized" paper (8 1/2" x 11") or the equivalent. If you
don't have our address, it is: Unit 5, 80 Chatham St., Kingston, Ontario, K7K 4G4, Canada.
I have rented the Outdoor Centre at Little Cataraqui Creek for the afternoon (
). There are two large rooms: the West Hall is more open, with views of the landscape; the General Purpose Room is more inward focused and intimate. I am
hoping that the weather will be dry enough for people to spill out onto the deck from the West Hall. There are also trails for those who wish to go for
a walk (and the roving swarms of deer fly should be gone by then!).
West Hall (Reception 1:00 - 5:00):
I would like the event to reflect Kay as much as possible. As all Kay's good friends know, the sharing of food was always a significant ritual for her (which
made her stomach cancer, the gastrectomy and the associated eating problems all the more tragic, even had she survived the cancer). She would have wanted
to make sure there were much, much more than enough delicious edibles for everyone. Since it is an afternoon event, there will just be munchies of various
types, rather than a meal. Let me know if you would like to bring something. There will, of course, be tea. Lots of tea (and none of that gnat's piss that
can pass for tea in Canada, as Kay would say). Oh, and I suppose we'll have an urn or two of fair traded organic coffee as well.
I have been thinking of putting together three slideshows on three computers: one with photos of Kay throughout her life; one with her finished artwork
(ceramics, paintings, drawings, encaustics, fabric arts); and one with images taken from her sketchbooks. These slideshows will be running continuously,
so people can watch them while munching on their tarts and sipping their piping hot de-caf Typhoo tea with milk. If anyone has photos of Kay or her artwork
which they think might be appropriate to add, please send them.
There will some tables and chairs set up for kids to do art. If the weather is amenable, this might be out on the deck. Adults will also be encouraged to
participate. The finished pieces will be added to Bernadette's book.
General Purpose Room (Ceremony 2:00 on):
This room will be set up for people to speak about Kay, with seating for as many as will fit. We will set up speakers in the West Hall so any speeches,
poetry and music can be heard in there as well. There will be some of Kay's original artwork set up (far away from the food), her urn, candles, and photos.
Let me know if you have some of Kay's artwork that you would like to bring on the day. If you do bring any, please make sure that your name and phone number
are on the back.
I don't have a schedule yet, but I feel that I would like to start the talking. I am hoping that many people will have things to say and that people will
sing. I do have a few ideas about music and poetry, but am open to suggestions. I don't want the ceremony to feel too formal. Kay's wake was so beautiful
because it was so spontaneous and natural, with everyone participating. I am hoping that this can be similar, with every one of us learning things about
Kay that we didn't know.
January 5, 2009:
As you probably all know, I will be taking half of Kay's ashes to Derbyshire to bury on the 14th anniversary of the day we met. Everyone who would like
to join us is welcome. I will bring a laptop with the slideshows, so that our UK friends can see them. The other half of Kay's ashes will be buried in
the spring, here, at the cottage. I would like to start a spiral of stones in Derbyshire going out into the water and a similar spiral at the cottage,
so that Kay's two halves will be connected through the water of this earth.
If anyone outside of Canada wants to contribute to Kay's bursary, it will go further if you give the money to me rather than the Ban Righ Centre because
I can add another 70% and get it back when I do my taxes. For those within Canada, donations can be sent to: The Ban Righ Foundation, 32 Bader Lane, Kingston,
Ontario, K7L 3N8. Please make cheques payable to Queens University, with "Ban Righ Bursary in memory of Kay Wolstenholme" in the memo section.
I am always open to suggestions and volunteers.
Love to all,
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I wish I could have been there, but thinking about that makes me smile. Mikaela is such a fun person. I'm getting to know her a little better this year and I'm glad of that. I hope everyone is having as amazing a weekend as I am.