The Hogwarts Rules

For anyone who doesn't know or like Harry Potter, this might make no sense. But I found it funny, so it's going up here. Thanks Stephani. I just about died.

>1) Seamus Finnigan is not after my lucky charms
>
>2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like
>one.
>
>3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not
>a challenge.
>
>4) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the
>Headmaster's office.
>
>5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Devination class
>
>6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died
>and made him boss
>
>7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
>
>8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar
>
>9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy
>
>10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the
>month"
>
>11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're
>real animals
>
>12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuss-Slytherin
>quidditch matches
>
>13) The Giant Squid is not an approriate date to the Yule Ball
>
>14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at
>the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!"
>
>15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall ont take advantage of
>the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
>
>16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes
>house points from Gryffindor
>
>17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply
>coincidental
>
>18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny.
>Even if he is wearing an orange anorak
>
>19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"
>
>20) I will ont dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on
>Harry's lips to make him do what I want.
>
>21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
>
>22) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells
>shouting "I got the power!"
>
>23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have
>challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from
>various directions.
>
>24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to
>signal my entrance when I enter a classroom
>
>25) Its not necessary fro me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate.
>
>26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and
>use it to patrol the hallway.
>
>27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when
>wandering the halls.
>
>28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate
>career choice.
>
>29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme
>song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes"
>
>30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them
>smurfs.
>
>31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife
>
>32) "Draco Mafly, Take it up the Arse" is not an acceptable
>quidditch chant.
>
>33) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
>
>34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a
>closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.
>
>34) It is a mad idea to tell Proffesor Mcgonagal that she takes
>herself to seriously
>
>35) "Ya'll check this crap out!" is not an aprropriate way to
>announce that I am about to conduct an expirimental spell
>
>36) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.
>
>37) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy.
>
>38) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of
>Draco Malfoy.
>
>39) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I
>should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
>
>40) Dumbledore does not have "nakie time".
>
>41) Bringing fortune cookies to Devinations class does not count as
>extra credit.
>
>42)My name is not "Dark-Lord Happy Pants" and I shall not sign my
>papers as such.
>
>43) I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmellow peeps
>
>44) I will not lock Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room and make
>bets on who will come out alive.
>
>45) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
>
>46) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the
>residential ghosts
>
>47) I will not use first year Slytherins and Gryffindors as
>Christmas lights
>
>48) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force"
>
>49) There is not, nor was there ever, a fifth house at Hogwarts. Nor
>am I in that house or the founder of it.
>
>50) I will not put books of muggle fairy-tales in the history
>section of the library
>
>51) When fighting the Death Eater in the annual June battle of Good
>vs. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and yell "There can only
>be ONE!"
>
>52) I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes teacher
>
>53) I will not take a life insurance policy out of Harry Potter
>
>54) I will not wear A DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT shirt to school
>
>55) I am not allowed to make light-saber sounds with my wand
>
>56) I will not tell first years that they should build a tree-house
>in the whomping willow
>
>57) I will not teach the house elves how to impersonate Jar Jar
>Binks
>
>58) I am not authorized to neggotiate a peace treaty with
>Voldemort...Especially if Harry Potter's life is in the bargain...
>
>59) I will not follow potions instuctions backwards just to see what
>will happen
>
>60) I will not use silencing charms on my profesors.
>