Sunday, February 04, 2007

I am the Luckiest

I hate all the girlie girls who always write blogs about their baby daddies and who just write the stupid msn names about "(L) (K) (F) I love you Baby forever!" It always sees so fake and material and stupid. But I guess today I can't really say that.

It's been almost five months now since my boyfriend and I have been dating, and I might be the happiest girl alive. He's such an amazing person for so many reasons. He puts up with so much of my crap, and he believes in me so much that it just makes me feel great. I know I shouldn't base my emotions on what other people think of me, and I know I have lots of friends who are there for me through a lot of crappy times, and I love those guys to death. Don't get me wrong. But for some reason, this boy has and is helping me make a change in myself. Yes, sometimes we argue, who doesn't? But even when I've done some pretty uncoolthings, he's still sticking with me. How can I be so lucky? He deserves a medal for the shit I put him through, and last night he told me that he totally believed in me and that he felt that I ade a lot of progress with some of my issues.

So, a few weeks ago, a close friend of mine committed suicide. It greatly affected me, and I didn't go to school for the past week. I felt really upset about it, and because of that, i had a really short fuse. On Monday I went to see the boyfriend, and I stayed the night. I had theater class on Tuesday and when I got home, I went to bed. I had a dream that night that my dead friend came back to me and told me that everything I'd heard wasn't true, and he was still around, and not to worry because he'd never hurt himself.This really bothered me, but I felt weird telling the boyfriend about the dream. I felt stupid for some reason, I can't really explain why. So I called the boyfiend the next morning, and I asked him if I could come over that night. He didn't really want to do much, and we got into a dumb argument over it. When finally told him about the dream, he totally understood, and he let me stay with him and he helped me through it. I woke up on Thursday morning very sick, and he got me cough medication and looked out for me then too. He really is amazing, and I feel so lucky to have him as my boyfriend. He's great!

Wow I'm being really personal today, but I didn't sleep because I took my medication way too late last night. So theres my rant about that special boy. Carin is coming to see me soon and she'll finally get to meet him! I hoe he meets her seal of aproval! I'm sure he will!


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