Sunday, April 19, 2009

Here comes Rosamae Smackin' tail, runnin' down the guide dog trail, hippity hoppity puppy's on her way!

*Bounce bounce sniff sneeze wag wag shake shake flop* We’re going to that happy place!!! Oh what happy times I have had there!!! We’re going to see Grandma! And Grandma always has treats for me, apparently they are home made! You know who else gave me home made treats awhile ago? Trixie’s mommy! Thank you thank you thank you Trixie’s Mommy! I know it’s late, but my mommy’s no fun and never lets me talk anymore.

Something weird happened to my mommy the other week, and I don’t really understand what it was. She was walking with this man who refused to pet me, because he knew I was a working dog. But I was off harness and Mommy said he could pet me, but he kept saying “I’ve been trained never to touch a seeing eye dog.” What’s a seeing eye dog? People call me that all the time, but I’m a guide dog! Fascinating this… seeing eye thing… is it like since Mommy doesn’t see, I have to be her seeing eye? Hmmm… things that make you go hmmm… So she was walking with Mr. No pets for Rosamae when all of a sudden I felt her fall towards me. I just stood there and did my normal doggie thing, but the next thing I knew she was wobbling, sorta hippity hopping on one leg, and she was almost crying, but it looked like she didn’t want to full out cry because she was with that attractive man. He put his arm around her and half carried her onto the bus. Then, she turned sideways and put her foot up on the seat. How is that fair? When I jump up on bus seats, I get corrected… but I bet her feet are dirtier than mine. Every now and again we’d hit a bump and I would see her bite down really hard, I guess she was still trying not to cry maybe? I don’t know? And as if that wasn’t weird enough, she got off the bus where she used to go to find jobs, but job lady Natalie wasn’t there. Alana the back cracker was there. So Mommy was in what I can only assume is pain, and she wants back cracker lady to crack her back now? These human things are weird things. She got very slowly off the bus, and back cracker lady took her home. She took me for my evening poop, and then she hippity hopped into her room, where she proceded to sit at her computer and it read her something… and then… she started crying all weird where she couldn’t breathe, and she was so loud and I was like “What the heck Woman” but I didn’t do anything, and then she was on that thing she calls a phone, but she wasn’t making much sense. I heard her talking to someone, and then she was talking to Carin… and then the garage door was being opened, so I bark bark barked and I ran as fast as I could. Maybe somebody knew Mommy needed help. It was Mitsu and her mommy and Dan! Oh how I love Mitsu. We always play and run and pretend to fight but I like her. So we romped around the kitchen while Dan and Mitsu’s mommy did something to my mommy’s hurting foot. And then they were half carrying Mommy like the nice man had done, and I got shut in my room… what did I do wrong? I didn’t hurt Mommy.

A few hourse later they were back with Cam. Mommy was weird all night, but Mitsu got to sleep over. For the next few days, Mommy just sat on her fat butt and people did everything for her, fed me, took me out, made her food, Meg brought her “breakfast in bed” twice and she was all happy. I noticed she would sit on her butt and slide up and down the stairs. Hmmm… wonder if she needs her anal glands expressed? I didn’t know humans needed that. But she wouldn’t do anything with me, just wanted me to cuddle all the time, which is fine for awhile, but I’m a lab and I have energy and I need to run and bounce and play and sniff and bark and sneeze… I suppose I can still bounce and sneeze but there’s nothing to bounce and sneeze about when all Mom does is sit there… And then a few days ago, Mommy slowly started walking again. We went to the coffee store! And we saw Skippy the man who drives Mommy places sometimes. So she seems to be doing all right, albeit a lot slower than she was before this. And today, I’m told that we are going to see Grandma and Grandpa and I get treats and I get to run again! Oh yeah, Mom’s mom took me to run a few times, and oh what fun I had with Mitsu. We just ran and ran and ran.

We went to the cottage for Easter time! I saw Grandma! And that cranky big old man that lives there too. I used to like him… but then one day he got sick and started being weird so now I don’t talk to him anymore unless I have to. Mom says he’s drinking again, whatever that means. I drink everyday and nobody has a problem with that. Why shouldn’t he drink? I had some yummy cake off the floor when nobody was looking…. And then my tummy hurted all night.

I am happy that Mom is working me again. It’s no fun sitting around and doing nothing. I’m going to play in the sun now.