Tuesday, May 30, 2006

And my Life is now Complete

Have you ever had a hero? Have you ever listened to a radio show so much that you felt like the people on that show were your friends? Have you ever listened to something eighteen million times over and still busted your gut laughing the eighteen million and first time? Well that describes my relationship with some people who I know as Bob Kevoyen, Tom Grizwald, Kristi Lee and Chick Mcgee. Laughed at, listened to and loved these people since I was 12 or 13. Sure some of their stuff has had to be a bit more sensored since the whole FCC bullshit, but I still love them, no matter how sensored they get.

What's the punch line here? I got to talk to them on the phone today. Finally, after six years I got to hear their voices on my phone, talking to me. How incredibly awesome is that? I know it might sound cheesy to some, but I don't care. I'm so happy right now I could embrace a random stranger. I talked to them about being blind, and my quest to get a guide dog, and my getting the chance for a continued assessment, and apparently phone screener Dean as well as the rest of the crew thought this was super interesting. If you don't know who phone screener Dean is, and you know the Mr. Obvious show, he's the guy that plays the caller on the show all the time. So anyway, I talked to Dean for awhile, because there was something from Paul and Storm that I wanted to hear but I couldn't find them in the archives. At first Dean said they weren't taking phone calls, but then for whatever reason we were talking about summer and I saidI might be going to get a guide dog. I know how to play this game. Clearly. So he was like "Hang on a second, I gotta tell Bob and Tom this". So that was super cool. I was on hold for 8 minutes. Then I talked to the guys. It wasgreat. They couldn't find the thing I wanted either, but we talked about guide dgs and dog parties and blindpeople with super human abilities and stuff.

So they asked me if I wanted a Canadian piece and I was like "No! I want Paul and Storm!!" They told me that Dean would call me back when they found what we wanted. I was like "Awesome! I get to talk to Dean again." In the meantime, they played a piece about guide dogs from John Wing. Cue I Hope you Die in Aaron Nevyl voices with harmony. That also never stops being funy. I went to make my breakfast as I was listening to this online. And then my phone rang. It was Dean again. "Tom wants to talk to you again". Oh man! Again? Yes! So we talked a bit more about the origins of the Paul and storm commercials I wanted to hear. Chick was making fun of me for something, and Tom said "It's too bad you don't live closer. If you did, I'd invite you to come to the studio and smack Chick with a baseball bat." I didn't thinkthat was nice. I love Chicky. Come on. So they played my piece for me, after I stupidly ran into something on the phone and went "Uh-oh." I suck, but Kristi was cute. As Bob said "It's not good when a blind person says uh-oh." But they played my song, and Chick made some crack about wonering how long I'd played the piano for, even though I never told him I played or anything. "Don't all blind people play the piano?" I emailed them and told Chick that I had played piano since I was 3. Rock on!

The other highlight was after they played the John Wing and called me back I told them about how some of my friends and I like to sing "I Hope you Die", and I mentioned new years and Chick goes "Hey, I'd love to come to your new years party!" Yes! So a warning, if some fat sighted American guy shows up at our party next year, which obviously would never happen because I didn't tell him where it was or anything, but dammit it would be funny, that's Chick Macgee.

There, best story of the week. And the chaos that ensued after that was remarkable. A bunch of other blind people called in, and one of the fake callers was talking about the "blind program this morning"A. Ah man, so great.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Oh what Dreams May Come

I don't know why this keeps happening to me. Maybe my past feels like saying "Haha, you prick, I'm going to bite you in the ass." Thanks past... thanks a lot. Anyway, I'm talking about this sstupid reoccurring dream I've been having lately. I think last night was the third night I had it. Anyway, I'm with this person that, apart from about five seconds last year I haven't spoken to in maybe three years. Maybe two. Doesn't matter. Anyway, I used to be very close with this person. You could say we were dating, though it was so long distance that that made it really hard to see the person. However, this person had this weird obsession with the voices in their head. At first I was like "Whatever, you're young and just weird. It'll pass." But the voices in this person's head seemed to grow continuously louder, and this person would tell me that there were these two guys who were in love and one was a Spanish Dude and the other was this black drug dealer or something. Anyway, it kept going and the person would ask me if I could hear these voices too. Of course I couldn't hear the voices, they were in that person's head. So I finally snapped and told the person "These are in your head. They are not real" and hung up the phone. I had not spoken to that person until last June. I finished my last exam and was walking down the hallway towards the music wing at school, when all of a sudden Miss Dunton the vice principle calls to me "Hey Barb, I've got someone I want you to meet." It was custom for her to make me talk to the perspective students, and it was also custom for me to make up bull shit to make the school sound nicer than it actually was. Then I hear a familiar voice. "Barb? As in Barb MacDougall?" I froze. There was a voice I hadn't heard in years and was completely terrified to hear again. We said very turse quick hellos, and I gave that person and their family a convincing speech about W Ross and all of its wonderful facilities and bla bla bla. And then the mother has to point out that I hadn't spoken to the person since I started going to the school. We just nodded and said nothing more to each other.

But in the last little while I've been having dreams about this person. Dreams of intimacy, where that person is in a chrisis and for whatever reason they find me in Ottawa and we talk and the person tells me that I'm the only one who can help them out. And I always ask "You mean you're not mad at me anymore even after I was mean to you?" And the response is always "Of course not. You mean the world to me and I miss you." And then it goes on like that. It probably means nothing, but dammit dreams, stop bugging me. This morning I went on the net to search for the Mom's name and number, but I can't find it. I don't know if I should say I'm sorry now after three years or just let it be. Man this is bugging me.